If I died Today... Monday Morning Ponderings.

Yesterday I was talking to an older person who I look up to. 
She seems young, she never seems to stop, and she accomplishes amazing things.  I asked her about how she does it, I asked her if she ever stops... 
Her answer surprised me. 

She said that she doesn't stop because if she died today she doesn't want to leave things undone; unfinished.  This applies to her ministry and also to her home life. She has to do the washing straight away because if she dies today people may come into her house and think, why didn't she wash those things? She is funny. She said she can see herself watching from heaven and cringing as they look at the dirty washing. This cracked me up because as if people would really think that... but this is how she thinks. This is her mindset and this is how she achieves so much!!  This lady serves and loves people in a way that inspires me greatly. She goes out of her way to help and bless others. She gives everything, she leaves nothing undone and what an impact it has on those around her!

I want to be more like this. I want to live my life knowing that if I died today, things wouldn't be left unfinished. Im going to make my bed every morning,  im going to fold my washing instead of leaving it for days. Im not meaning im going to always have a spotless house, I just mean I want to put a few routines into place that will help :)  I want to be the best version of myself. Im going to send that 'Im thinking of you' card, that I was meaning to send to a friend. I'm going to read my children that book they are have been begging me to read. I want to be a wise steward of the time that God has given me on this earth. Im going to try my hardest (im not perfect). I'm going to love people and sow Godly seeds everywhere possible so that If I die today I know I have done my best with the time I had.

My outlook has been changed by her simple answer. 
Don't be scared to ask questions. Learn from people you admire. Particularly the older people. They have been around a lot longer and have learnt alot over the years.  They hold great wisdom. Wisdom that NEEDS to be passed down to the next generation.  

These are the thoughts going through my head on this Monday morning.
And yes, I did make my bed today.

Bec xx

My Malachi Thoughts

My first baby turned 8 yesterday

When he was younger  I used to look at people with kids around 8 years old and think, I cannot imagine having a child that old, well now I do, and it really isnt that old is it!?!

Malachi was my hardest labor and my hardest baby. I had pre-eclampsia and was induced 2 weeks early.  I had already been in hospital for 2 nights cos I was so unwell.  I shared a room with a lady who snored LOUDLY, so I hadn't slept at all! The sleeping tablets did not help one bit. Even the midwife couldn't believe the sound this lady was making... poor lady :)

I was so sick that day. My blood pressure was soaring, I was feverish and throwing up. They made me have an epidural because that helps lower the blood pressure, plus I would be ready to go in for a c-section if needed cos Malachi's heart rate was way too fast. Todd laughed cos I had tubes coming out of me everywhere, I really wish i had a photo of it. Todd spent a lot of the time putting my legs back on the bed when they fell off... I couldnt feel them at all ;) It was a long day and after 16 hours I laughed and pushed out Chi. I was laughing cos I couldn't feel a thing, it was way too easy. I seriously felt like I had cheated not feeling the pain! BUT it was over and he was here, and I was so happy!!! 

I'm not going into all the details, because this isn't his birth story, but rather a recollection of a precious time,  8 years ago. He was born at 10:20 pm and I was so excited I couldnt sleep, I just laid there watching him sleep. It was very surreal that there was a baby laying there, my baby... a sleeping baby too, wow...  that didnt last!! We were in hospital for a week, Chi lost too much weight. They put a tube down his nose to feed him and then he was jaundice so they put him under lights for a couple of days... this is all quite common, but when you are a new sleep deprived mum it is all very overwhelming and I cried HEAPS! I wanted to go home and I wanted him to feed properly... and ... and ... and.... things will never be the same!!!  He was very small for ages, he ended up being bottle fed cos he just wast getting enough milk, he wasn't growing... I was scared to tell people... mothers guilt!! Mums, remember, you have to do what works for you... what works for you isn't what works for others... after 4 babies I have learnt this!

He wouldn't sleep. He had colic. I remember just walking the room, patting him, night after night. Praying he would sleep. He would sleep on Todd's chest, a little relief in those first horrible few weeks.

8 years later and My boy is amazing. He isnt perfect but who is? He is a quality time boy. He loves to sit with me and drink a cup of tea, it makes him feel special and important. He also loves to make me cups of tea, perfect :)  I can see him changing before my eyes, he was a very silly little boy "Underpants hehehe",  "Bottom, hehehe", but he has definitely matured a lot more in the last few months!! We now have different behaviors to deal with, a whole new parenting learning experience...  hmmmmmm...

I watch Chi and I see myself in him so often... He is the oldest of 4 like I was. He bosses the others around like I did. He gets them all organised to do shows, like I did. He gets the audience together and says, Welcome ladies and gentleman, boys and  girls, like I did. He loves to perform, like I did. He is a mini Todd in looks but a mini Bec in so many ways!!!

My heart breaks for him regularly. He loves to learn, wants to learn yet he has this Auditory Processing Disorder, and a Cognitive Working Memory Disorder that really makes learning HARD!!! He has shed many many tears, and it is a daily struggle at school.  We have taken him to a literacy specialist for the last 2 years and have seen some progress but it is SLOW! He will get there, I know, but it is hard seeing him lay in bed crying at night cos he cant read like everyone else. Todd and I are both trained teachers and we never expected that any of our kids would struggle like this, it is heart breaking to watch. We just need to love him and encourage him through it.

He loves the drums! He just plays them. I have no idea how. He just started playing when he was 2. He shocked us all. He played along to a song in assembly at school when he was in prep.
He also sits at the piano and plays a melody. I love this. Music is so important to us as a family, and im so excited that he is a natural!!!! I think all the music classes I taught at Channel Christian School while he was in my tummy must have really helped him ;) I also remember him kicking along to the beat during one of my piano students lesson :)

He loves church and Jesus. This makes me the happiest of all. This is the most important thing to me. This is how I know we are doing something right. My prayer is that he continues to grow in his relationship with Jesus, and he will become a MIGHTY MAN OF GOD!

Here are just a few thoughts about Chi, the day after his 8th birthday!
I love you Malachi Todd Barker.

Thanks for reading
Bec xx

As for me and my House

As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord

I just wanted to share a few thoughts i've had going around in my head the last few weeks.

When Todd and I got engaged we both agreed that our main purpose in life was to serve God, we didnt know what that would look like, but we knew it was the most important thing to us. We based our marriage on God and serving him, oh and love of course :) Back then, I was the crazy youth leader and Todd was the long-haired guitar player. 

Ten years later and serving God is still the most important and fulfilling thing to us. We have different roles and have gone through different seasons, things may have not gone the way that we had envisioned they would,  but building God's Kingdom, through loving and serving people and God is our main focus. We now have a family, and it is our responsibility to include our children in this.  It's not just Todd's calling or my calling but our families calling. Todd doesn't just go off and do what he has to do, we all go. As a family we go and serve. We all get there early and help wherever we can. I LOVE that we are building this into our kids at a young age. It makes my heart so happy that they are involved.  Sometimes they may be more hindrance than help, but they are doing their best and that is what counts. Malachi in particular, LOVES helping Todd set up his guitar and then he sits in the sound desk with the soundman. I actually think he feels like he runs the place... awesome I say! A creative director in the making! Through the sermon last week the mic battery went flat and I heard this little voice from the sound desk say, "It's the battery". I thought Chi was out at Hotspots, but no, he was in the sound desk! (I do usually know where my kids are ) I want church to be their second home. I love seeing the kids help Ticia set up for Hot Spots or help Ann move the Operation Christmas Shoeboxes from one place to another, it is what life is about, serving God!!!

Ive had to put serving God before my own wants in one particular area lately- helping in creche!! Seriously the thought of siting in a room full of little kids gives me a headache! We have had a shortage of helpers and the mums (including me)were asked to fill some spots on the roster... to start with I was so angry that it surprised me. It took me a few weeks to realise that this wasn't the right attitude and that I should be honored to be able to serve God, and help where help is desperately needed. God definitely taught me a lesson through this. Sometimes serving God and your local church includes things that you may not like, but I've decided I need to be willing and serve where there is a need. Every role is just as important to God, even cleaning the toilets :)

As a mum sometimes I spend more time out with the kids than in the service (it's getting better now though) and I admit it can get REALLY frustrating! I remind myself that young kids is just a season and it will pass. But i'm learning that God has a job for me in every season. It may be that God has placed me in the creche room on a particular day as there is a mum there who needs some love and encouragement. God can use me just as much in the creche room showing love than anywhere else! You just need to be willing!!

These are just some thoughts i've had and lesson i've been learning that I wanted to share.

As for me and My House, we WILL serve the Lord!!!!

Amen

love Bec xxo