Week 3 down and im exhausted! Im sitting here feeling like i've been drugged im that dopey.
I love it and I hate it... an intricate twining of the too. I have cried and I have laughed, I have encouraged and I have been frustrated. My patience has been stretched BIG TIME! No wonder im exhausted!! Do I still think we made the right decision to pull Malachi out of school for a year? Absolutely!
A friend of mine who homeschools once told me that homeschooling was really hard work and didnt recommend it unless you really knew it was what you were supposed to be doing... I shrugged her words off and thought, yeah, of course, but now I REALLY KNOW she was right!!
I am finding Malachi a challenge. He struggles big time with reading and writing and has decided that it is all too hard. I ask him to spell or write a word and he has a meltdown! My challenge is to stay calm and take baby steps... if I stay calm he is more likely to stay calm (sometimes). Although it is a nice break when he runs to his room crying cos it's all too hard and im so mean! I'm learning to accept that he isn't going to get it overnight and any pre-conceived ideas I had about him happily sitting with me, reading and producing all types of masterpieces have all gone flying out the window (for now). Malachi has built a wall, I believe it is a wall to protect his self-worth. It causes him to shut down and not try when it seems too hard. I think he constructed it as a coping mechanism at school and now it is my job to pull it down, stone by stone and restore his confidence. I've learnt I need to encourage him to have a go, to reassure him that it doesnt matter if he gets it wrong, he is allowed to get it wrong. We wont think any less of him if he gets it wrong. He seems to be a bit of a perfectionist, and he would rather not try than get it wrong. It makes me so sad that he is so hard on himself, i just need to love and encourage him through it. In just 3 weeks, my patience has improved and im beginning to discover the learning strategies that work for Chi, and learning what not to say or do in order for him to stay calm and not get angry... we are both learning.
On a positive note, I am loving it! I feel so happy when he reads a word that he couldn't read a few days before. Or he understands something in Maths that he had never understood before... it's these moments that make all the frustrations worth it. He is my boy and he needs help and I can help him, what a privilege.
