Christmas Video 2015

Here is our 2015 Christmas Family video.  It's become a tradition to make one every year.

SO Merry Christmas from our silly family to yours :)

2015, TICK!

And just like that, term 4 2015 is complete!

Here my darlings are on the first day

and last night before Celebration Night

THE HAVE DEFINITELY GROWN!
Next year there will be 4 in the picture. What? NO! YES! 

It has been a good year. It didnt look exactly how I had imagined it...
Firstly we left Hillsong Hobart, I didnt see that coming. What a great church. It was the perfect place for us to serve, as we got through one of the hardest years of our lives. We made some lovely friends, and have amazing memories from our time there.
Secondly, we sold our house and bought another! This was definitely not on the cards! I still cant believe that it actually happened. Not something I want to go through again in a LONG time! I haven't cleaned since, now we just live feral.

So much can happen in a year.

I wonder what 2016 will bring. Something I totally don't expect, if the last few years are any indication ;) I know for the first part of the year we are moving in with my parents, so that will very different!!! And im totally excited about moving into our new house a little later on...
Elias starts Kinder so that is going to be a huge adjustment too... i'll probably just spend the first month crying, I do alot of that these days. I'm a true Barker girl now ;0)

WHO KNOWS WHAT IS IN STORE FOR ME!!!


BUT for now, holidays have just begun. Jaz is sitting on the couch finger knitting, Chi is making everyone a hot chocolate and Taya is chilled out on the couch watching tv. Time to relax... before we get serious about packing. 1 month today till this house settles.

Thanks for reading my thoughts!!

Love Bec x

moving sentiments

Its about 10 minutes after I've tucked them into bed and said their prayers that the tears start. Enough time for them to settle and their little minds to start thinking. Jazzy walks out looking heartbroken, "I don't want to move. This is the only house I've ever known, I've lived here all my life. Why didn't you buy a bigger house in the first place anyway?" We cuddle and I assure him that everything is going to be OK.

Mattea comes out crying, "I'm scared I'll leave something here" I assure her all drawers and cupboards will be empty and nothing will be left behind. We cuddle on the couch and the tears eventually stop.

We are walking through the supermarket and Elias says to me, " I don't want to move. I like our house."I scoop him up and hold him close.

My little people are struggling with the idea of moving house. It's their first move. They must be sentimental like me. I still feel a hint of sadness when I drive past houses I lived in as a child. I must admit, the idea of leaving my home of the last 12.5 years is tugging at my heart strings too. This basic, weatherboard house has been our home, a loving, happy home. So many memories here and it will always hold a special place in my heart. Fond, fond memories.

I'm dreading the moment we shut the door behind us and never return. But also excited for our next house, wherever that might be!

Farewell from sentimental Bec xxxx

A short, strange little post

As I was cooking tea tonight I was wishing that vegetables tasted nicer. It would make them so much easier to eat. I try so hard to like them but I just don't! I just chew them round and round, then swallow them as quick as I can.  I don't enjoy a moment of it. "Eat your vegetables kids" I say. I wish they tasted better.

Elias has been crying and heartbroken for the last hour. The Octonouts watch he got today, broke.  He is so sad. I just sat at the table and cried with him. I couldn't help it. I just feel so sad for him. It would have been such a moving photo. Both of us sitting there with tears streaming down our faces. Where is a photographer when you need one??

Im at that point where I need a break. I was thinking about disappearing.
Todd might end up on that missing person show because his wife has just vanished into thin air. He will be on tv crying and telling me that if i'm watching I need to contact him, and let him know Im ok. He will tell me he needs me and loves me. It will be heartbreaking. There will shots of my poor abandoned children, looking sad cos they miss their mum. The viewers will be tweeting #heartbreaking #selfish woman #those poor poor children. Meanwhile I will have taken up a new identity in another country. My poor family, my poor parents. It's all a bit much really when I think about it this way. I think I might re-consider.

Todd has gone out to a meeting. I cried when he left.  I mean all we'd do if he was here was sit on the couch and watch a TV show. Id probably end up falling asleep and then be rudely woken by my snoring. I didn't want him to leave me here alone with them. They scare me. They are loud and fierce. They don't like to listen to me. I do love my kids. I mean just a minute ago they called me in to watch them jump from the top bunk and land on their bellies on a mattress on the floor. They called it 'The Bellyflop." I can report that there were no casualties. Ive now told them to go to bed...
This is the part of the night where I begin to lose it. Freedom is so close, so close, I can almost reach out and touch it... but not quite. My patience wears very thin, as the minutes tick away and they don't settle down. I like my evenings. My child free time. They are precious. They are VITAL.

GO TO SLEEP!!

This blog is a blog about nothing. Just my evening and my random thoughts.
It's me. I must go and pray with the kids... wish me luck as I embark on my journey into freedom ;)

Love Bec

negative vs positive

This morning I was happily sitting in the sun, sipping my tea and thinking about life when suddenly the thought, 'life sucks' dropped into my head. It just snuck up on me, like the kids do when I have chocolate,  and I found myself responding by agreeing and thinking of all the reasons why life sucks. It went something like this: Todd was sick all holidays and has gone back to work sick, that's not fair... how on earth do I keep this house clean for the 2 open homes on the weekend... its not like we will ever find a house to move into anyway.... why on earth did Todd say we need to get the house on the market already... why cant he have patience... now he is sick... grrrrrr far out Todd... I cant live like this... so and so didn't like my photo of Instagram, they mustn't like me anymore... It's cos im fat... id have more friends if I was skinny...why am I so fat... waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa...

WAIT WHAT??   Im just innocently sitting here enjoying the sun and my tea and wham... life suddenly sucks! Ridiculous!!! One little negative thought planted itself in my mind, then grew and grew suddenly changing my whole outlook on the day and the 'oh so horrible life' that im living. CRAZY CRAZY!! Does this happen to you too??

I really need to take control of these thoughts that pop into my head and not let them ruin my day and turn me into a negative person. I need to reject them before the set root in my mind. I want my thoughts to be Godly and uplifting. I want my thoughts to set me up to succeed in life, to have positive relationships and a positive outlook. I want my face to be radiant, not sad looking cos my negative thoughts are eating me up on the inside.  I want positive confessions to come out of my mouth!! You see, my life really doesn't suck! I have an amazing husband, 4 kids, a house... i'm living the dream! I have an amazing God who loves me and cares for every detail of my life. My life is good.

I could go on and on but I wont. You get the idea.
I started writing this blog with no idea what I was going to write about and this all came out...
Amazing! I feel alot more positive now. The sun is shining again on the outside and the inside.
Time for another cuppa

Thanks for reading
love bec xx

term 2 challenge

And just  like that Term 1 was over and now the holidays are OVER!
Time, I have an idea, SLOW DOWN! My kids are getting too big! Just stop and give us a moment, please. I'm scared, literally. This year is not meant to go this fast.

Ok , so now that you all know that I think time is going too fast i'll move on.
Term 2, hello!! I'm going to embrace you and see you as a new season to make the most of. Even though these weren't exactly my sentiments when the alarm went off thsimorning. Speaking of alarms, my alarm is set to play a Kari Jobe song, which was a bad idea cos now every time I hear this song I cringe and get that horrible 'i have to get up' feeling. I'm sure you all know the feeling. Sorry Kari, I really do like you. Anyway, back to the point, ummm what was the point?...  oh yeah, the alarm went off, AND TERM 2, HERE I AM EMBRACING YOU... hugs.

This term, I have given myself the challenge to stay calm in the morning during the 'get them out the door 'madness. I know right, what was i thinking, BUT this is my challenge. I don't want to raise my voice, I don't want them to leave the house with my frantic yelling echoing through their heads. I want them to feel positive and calm as they head off to learn and be amazing, loving people. I need to be the responsible one and help them by setting the tone for the day, a positive tone, not a negative one. I can do this. I will do this. This morning I stayed very calm, even when my kids wouldn't wake up. All through the holidays they are up at 6:00am being noisy... but today, nope, all still snoring at 6:30 (and yes, they really do all snore). The second Jazzy opened his eyes he told me he was sick and  that, "vomit just came into my mouth". I had to literally pick Mattea up and carry her out of bed (she's getting heavy) as she cried, real tears, about being too tired to go to school. I did warn her this might be the case last night, when she wouldn't go to sleep cos she wanted to write 100 maths sums to show her teacher today. Strange child. Through the tears and pretend vomit I stayed calm and reassured them that everything was ok. They left smiling and happy and I didn't raise my voice :) I stood at the door and happily waved as they drove off, what a nice start to the day.  1 day down, millions to go!

So next time you see me ask me how my calm mornings are going, I might need reminding :)
Thanks for reading and I hope you all have an amazing term 2.
It is now time for me to have a cup of tea.

LOVE BEC
xxxx

A year ago...

A year ago.

A year ago a friend and I were saying, "In a years time we will look back on this and..."

A year ago life changed.

I expected things would be so much better by now... I expected that new and wonderful things would have happened.  For some it may have, but this is my story, I cant tell anyone else's story.

Last week at Colour I saw people open and up and become really vulnerable as they shared their story. I fought back tears the whole conference. It's time for me to share a few thoughts and the struggles i've been facing since the church I helped plant and grew up in, the church I loved and gave everything to, without warning, came crashing down, leaving casualties galore.


I expected that the feelings of anger, betrayal and injustice would have eased by now. They are not as raw as they were of course, but there isn't a day that goes by where I don't feel them.

I didn't expect that forgiveness would be such a big issue. I think i've forgiven certain people and then I think about them and feel so much anger. SO much anger. I was chatting to a friend about this earlier this week and she had some good advice... when you think about it, direct your anger at Satan and not the person.  I haven't been able to stop thinking about that. Yesterday I told God that I am lost and need help. I cant do it without Him.

I didn't expect that i'd be the one crying every second church service I go to, still. Everyone must think im a blubbering mess of a person. This is so not like me, or was not like me!!

I didn't expect to read blogs about broken people and sob cos I understand.

I didn't expect to become so critical of church's and their leadership. I look for power plays among the leadership. It's like i've become a spectator, watching what goes on and becoming critical of anything I dont think is 'normal'. Cant believe I just admitted that out loud!! 

I didnt expect to feel so alone, and have to work out who I can trust all over again. I lost friends. Ive had to make new ones. After being in the same church for 22 years, this is daunting!!

I didnt expect going to church to become a decision i'd have to make. I'd always been so excited about going every week. I never considered not going.... I am in a great church now, don't get me wrong... but things haven't been the same since that day. When I see people all excited about church it just makes me miss what was.

At Colour,  Christine Caine said that in 2014 she saw more Pastors under attack and brought down than ever before. The devil must be getting pretty desperate! She then went on to say that it wasn't God's plan. Yes I teared up,  I believe what happened wasn't God's plan and if anyone tells me, "It was God's will", I will punch them hard! It's not God's will for people to be hurt and break. God is into building His church, He is into mercy and grace. Not tearing people down.

I really believe that 2015 is the year of restoration, body, soul and spirit.
I am going to be found in God's word as His living water brings healing.
I will keep my eyes on Jesus as I continue on this healing process.


Thanks for reading my thoughts. It's not easy being honest , but I feel like I need to. It's a part of the healing process.

Love Bec xxx

On your 4th birthday

10 Things I Love About Elias

Im sitting here thinking about what to write about Elias and i just want to cry. 

He is so very precious to me. He is my 4th baby and without him I didn't feel complete.

 

1. Elias, I love the way you want cuddles, all the time. You come to me and say, "Cuddles on the couch". One cuddle isn't enough for you, you want to snuggle on the couch, you want my undivided attention. Once you have me sitting and relaxed you go to the bookshelf and bring over a book for me to read to you, then another and another... seriously,  if you had your way we would just snuggle and read books all day. I love you my cuddly, snugly boy.

2.  Elias, I love the way you dance and groove to music along with your older siblings. You are just way too cool. You dramatically mimic the words to all the songs and have the happiest look on your face. Keep grooving my dear boy!

3. Elias, I love how you love to look at photos, especially of yourself (So my child)! You daily look through the photos on my phone, and will show them to anyone who will take the time to look. You laugh, and describe whats going on. It warms my heart.

4. Elias, I love how you get up in the morning and say, " I want some lunch." I correct you and say breakfast, but you still say lunch every morning. Just now you asked for lunch when we were serving up tea.

5. Elias, I love the way you can sit at my computer for ages and watch play dough YouTube clips. You absolutely love them, I don't understand why, but hey, it gives me time to get the housework done :) You absolutely love play dough and play with it everyday!

6. Elias, every time you paint and draw, or write on a foggy window, you write a big E . You are so proud of your E's. Recently you've started writing an l next to it. You'll be writing your whole name before you know it. I love it! E is your trademark.

7. Elias. I love it how you play schools with your older siblings. They find work for you and set you up a work area. Mattea makes a chart and puts a sticker on it when you've finished your task. You love the attention,  you are clever and smart.

8. Elias, I love that you have FINALLY started sleeping through... most nights anyway. A couple of times a week you still wake up crying and when you see me walk through the doorway you say, "Cup of Milk". I get one, you drink it, and you go straight back to sleep. Im back in bed within 2 minutes. Thankyou Elias for letting me get some sleep. I love sleep.

9. Elias, I love that your dad has brainwashed you into responding to the name Giovanni. Your dad loves to tease you and you love to tease him back. He has also brainwashed you into sometimes calling your teddy, who you call teddy, Bruce! The other day I asked you if your name was Bruce, and you said, "No, teddy is Bruce" I love your sense of humor E.

10.  Elias, I love how excited you are about your party tomorrow. I have never seen you so excited about something before. It is a Minion Party and you LOVE the minions!! You keep talking to me about party hats, party bags and all the lollies that are going to be at your party. I want this party to be amazing because it's the first time you have ever been excited about you birthday. Last year we told you it was your birthday and you told us that it wasn't! I want you to love every minute. I want it to be perfect, just for you.

Elias, no words can describe my love for you.  I'm so glad I have this year at home with just you. It is going to be so special. Your little voice, your little hand in mine, your little feet you like me to tickle... I want to treasure every moment.

HAPPY 4TH BIRTHDAY MY BEAUTIFUL LITTLE BOY.

School's Back

And just like that, school has gone back.
Jazzy had an amazing idea last night: "How bout we go to school for one year and then stay home for one year..."  Amazing idea but I dont think it would go down to well :)
Mattea also had an idea last night, " How bout I stay home, wear my trackies and snuggle on the couch all day." I didnt think that would go down too well either!

Although they had these amazing ideas I think they were very pleased to be going back and seeing their friends again. Jazzy was so nervous I had to force him to eat breakfast. This is a child who  usually eats 6 pieces of toast!

It was harder than I thought letting Chi go. I'm tearing up now just thinking about it. He was so brave, I knew he was nervous but he was trying not to show it.

He looks so much bigger in his uniform this time. My how he blossomed in that one year.
Im so nervous, I do not want his confidence shattered... we worked so hard trying to build it up. We bulldozed through the walls he had built around him when he wasn't coping in class. We got past the meltdowns and started to achieve... a little...we had to do so much foundational work to get him to this  place. My hope is that this will continue and that going back to school is a positive thing. Please keep him in your prayers. Im so thankful for the year I had at home with him. He went from a sad, little boy to a bright eyed, confident boy.

Now it is just Elias and I at home. A whole new world! Ive got so much I want to do this year that my head is in a blur and I don't know where to start! It's time to write lists !!!!!! The world makes more sense with lists!

Thanks for reading, Its definitely cup of tea time for me

Love Bec xxx

2014 statuses- Jan to May :)

2014 in the life of bec barker...

January

1st: The best is yet to come.

1st: Must be time for some hot cross buns ;)

1st: If you're going to fight like animals you can go outside and live, like the animals.

      Things you find yourself saying!
                                
4th: Just had way too much fun at Birchalls

10th: Lying in bed thinking about how much I love my life, my God, my kids and my people.          
 Now it  must be time to get up and have a cup of tea.
.13th: We just pulled into the caravan park and Jaz isn't impressed. He thought we were camping "in the wild"

16th: The world is a brighter place after a 10min hot shower.

17th: Home from camping. I have already had a nap on the couch.

18th: I need a holiday
 
19th: Blessed are those who dwell in His house.

19th: HOTSPOTS parents, don't forget to bring a spare pair of clothes for your kids... it's wet and gooey week

20th: Todd's gone to school... I get to have the tennis on :0)

21st: There is a reason I am not writing the story and God is. He knows how it all works out, where it all leads, what it all means.
 

25th: Honk if you're happy!

26th: Today I am thankful for this country. Thankful that we are free to gather together and worship God. People, don't take this for granted.

26th: I think I should get some running shoes like Nadal's.

 February

2nd: Night church. Seriously nothing better than worshipping God. YOU are God in the Highest!

3rd: I just got out all of my teaching resources form my teaching days, im currently in resource heaven.... looking forward to starting schooling Chi on Wednesday

 4th: I just put Jazzy in his school uniform... oh my heart, how beautiful!!

5th: Term 1! Let's do this!

5th: Homeschooling for 10 mins and Chi says, "I struggled with this but now you have explained it properly.

5th: Im being dedicated and going to the school dedication service...

6th: It was my 2 year old throwing a tantrum in Big W cos he wanted a skateboard...

6th: I need to lay down. The end.

9th: So the best is yet to come. I can't wait.

9th: The kids are doing shows for old Nan and then asking for money at the end. It worked the first time... Not sure it will work again kids.

9th: The weather is wild! Todd is out trying to stop the fence from blowing over.

9th: A man has been killed near the Margate train cos a tree fell on his car. Sad. That wind was crazy.

11th: This time 3 years ago I was climbing into Todd's ute and heading to the hospital to have a baby. We just made it to the hospital with 20mins to spare before out he popped HAPPY BIRTHDAY ELIAS SHEM xxx

14th: cup of tea come to me...

14th: God help me...

20th: The art of staying calm. Really I want to throw the child across the room. I won't.

26th: In the last fortnight our 2 DVD players and our T-Box have all stopped working... what is this telling me?

26th: I'm going to get on the floor and do some sit ups right now, I really am... In a minute...

27th Without God, everything would feel so hopeless.



March

2nd: "Don't run around like wild animals, you are not animals, you are children"

3rd: Having a drink at The Beach with my sister, so nice to have her here. Don't leave Liv!!!

7th: I cleaned out and vacuumed the car without even a hint from Todd to do it... im in shock!
11th: Sometimes getting out of bed feels evil.

13th: Im doing my usual thing and watching Colour Conf backstage... one day I will get there!!!

14th: I just told Todd that I registered for Colour Conf 2015... he took it quite well!! Mum has registered too... anyone else ??

16th: My ear is throbbing, my throat is throbbing... I'm on communion today. God, help me!!

16th: Cos I'm haappyyyyyyyy

16th: Don't procrastinate when it comes to God!!! Dont wait till tomorrow!

16th: We had a great youth service tonight. I love the young people. I love God's presence. I love the young people in God's presence. I love diving for lollies at the front with the young peeps too... THE BEST IS YET TO COME!

18th: Ive been reading Acts thismorning, those early disciples were fully giving everything to see people surrender their lives to Jesus. I want to be more like them!!!!!!

24th: We went to the parents for tea. I walked in and Ana was sitting there smiling at me... I burst into tears! I wasn't hallucinating, she was really there! Im so happy.

25th: Happiness is an emotion, Joy is deeper. I must fight for my joy. I must open my heart to wonder and beauty and always find a reason to rejoice.

25th: The kid's night light in the hallway wasn't plugged in. I had to get up and plug it in... I dont think I can sleep without it!!

26th: There is a $2 coin sitting in the bottom of the washing machine. The only problem is that there is a big scorpion sitting right next to it.

27th: Last Man standing Todd Barker and Matthew Stossich.

27th: Todd turned all the lights off and went to bed. I'm sitting here on the couch in the dark. I suppose it must bedtime.

28th: God sees the big picture. He is in control. Amen.

29th: Oh my goodness.

30th: It's Sunday, let's do this. KFC peeps let's go and praise God, despite whatever is going on He deserves the Highest praise!! His mercies are new every morning. Love you all xxx

31st: exhausted, physically, emotionally... just exhausted. Dreaming of a holiday !!

April

1st: Sitting here at gymnastics and there is a little baby next to me. I want it. I've never thought about kidnaping before...

5th: Tomorrow the Lovely Leeza is preaching, her first Sunday morning sermon!! Let's all be there and support her. See you soon!!! Xxx

6th: Church Day!! Im so excited. I love to go and worship God!!

6th: At church: so far I've swept up hundreds of bugs, removed lots of cigarette butts from the front steps, searched for song words for the singers folders, scootered around the auditorium on the crèche scooter... And there is still over and hour till the service starts love it!!

6th: I'm getting lots of practice at giving my anger over to God lately... I have to let it go or it will eat me up and make me bitter!

7th: What a teary season final of Love Child. Brilliant.

8th: paper mache Greek vases.... that's what is on my mind.

8th: I will not fail you or abandon you. Joshua 1:5

8th: At gymnastics again... If I reach out my hand I could touch that baby...

9th: So many feelings and emotions flowing through me right now

11th: I dont like driving down the road and realizing I forgot to put my false tooth in

11th: papier mache vases, what have i got myself into!!

11th: Tomorrows bec is going to hate me cos I didnt clean the kitchen tonight.

12th: Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life. Surely, not maybe, but SURELY!

12th: heartbroken

13th: This last week I have cried more tears than ever before. I have experienced more anger than ever before. I have felt injustice and betrayal. It has been a tough week and I want to thank those who have inboxed me and shown me love. Means so much. Love you xx

13th: So anyway, last night I had the most random dream. I dreamt I was babysitting for the man who lives next door to church and complains about the sound all the time.

14th: The Bible. Dont brush over the words. Ponder them. Meditate. Understand them. let the truths sink deep into your being. They will change you, bit by bit. it is a beautiful, beautiful thing.

15th:It's a sitting on the couch eating noodles kinda day.

15th: Ive got some lovely friends! I got some flowers yesterday, today too!! THANKYOU THANKYOU!!

16th: I never did show and tell at school... I was way tooooooo shy...Im making up for it now on Facebook

20th: The kids just led us in an Easter service. It was beautiful. Todd pulled out his guitar and played along xx

26th: Happy 11th Wedding Anniversary to Toddy and I. I love us.

28th: I'm in bed. Just rang the home phone from my mobile and asked chi to make me a cup of tea.

28th: The kids are outside writing songs for the chicken cos they think it is dying...I hear "Goodbye, Oh I love you, I love you". It isn't dying... just resting in the sun.

29th: I think the kids may have been onto something when they were writing a song for the dying chicken... it's not dead but it's not seeming healthy at all!

May

1st: Oh what a beautiful morning, Oh what a beautiful day!

4th: Once these kids are in bed it's milo and marshmallow time. Hurry up kids

5th: What a blessed life I have. I get to stay home and teach my child. So grateful.

5th: It's called being flexible to combat the meltdowns.

5th: Be the first to love, be the first to be generous, be the first to serve.

6th: I will not eat junk food, I will not eat junk food, I will not eat junk food, I will not eat junk food, I will not eat junk food...

7th: Sometimes I just see someone and I know that we are meant to be friends... something within me just knows... even when i haven't met them yet.

8th: Seems like im going to be without computer for a while... my computer seriously died. This is not good. I miss my music, and my photo edit

8th: Apple are sending me a replacement computer!!!!!!

10th: Happy Birthday to my Dad, Leo Stossich! I wouldn't be who I am today without your direction and love. Also happy graduation day!!! I can now call you Dr Leo!!

15th: I love it when I look at my child and I see one of my expressions on their face.

17th: We need a bigger house. The end.

17th: When I start to feel that life is unfair...I start worshiping God. My focus shifts from me to God and His greatness... and suddenly everything is ok.

20th: It seems that all of my photos before last year have vanished without a trace. For a photo person like me, that really sucks. I'm glad I got some printed every so often.

20th: The photos in my albums are suddenly very precious.

21st: At woollies. Forgot to get my bags out of the car again.

21st: BEC BARKER step away from the pizza!!!

23rd: 20 mins until my THEAC visit... trying to remain cool, calm and confident.

23rd: THEAC visit done! If only I had a block of chocolate to eat to celebrate!!

25th: If you don't have a church to call home then come along to the Menzies Center, Campbell St Hobart ,10:30. We are waiting to welcome you !!

25th: My parents are home from China... I can't wait to see them tomorrow!!!

26th: Winter Spice tea, mmmmm

27th: Only throw the stone if you are perfect!!

27th: Sometimes you just have to stop everything and turn up the music

THANKS FOR READING
love bec

 

Changes

So things are changing this year.
Todd is going back to full time work after 6 years part time. He feels it's time, so he is stepping out, and we are trusting  that it will all work out with his silly head troubles. Ive been so lucky to have him home with me every Wednesday and im going to miss this big time! No more Wednesday breakfasts!! Im trying to be a very supportive wife... trying.

So Todd has said that I have to take up the cooking responsibility. Ive also been lucky enough to have a husband who has cooked for most of our 12 years of marriage. So for me, this is a huge thing. Im going to be like one of those normal wives who have to cook... flip! So i've done my freaking out and now Im determined to become an amazing cook. Everyone is going to be hanging out for an invitation to my place to eat MY food :) This does sound hilarious as I am very clumsy in the kitchen and nothing ever seems to work for me. Earlier on in our marriage we had a chef  live with us for a year, and i can still hear her saying to me, "Im sorry Bec, but there is no way I would ever hire you as a kitchen hand." Hmmmm, it will be a challenge but I can only get better!!

Tonight was my first night. It worked out amazingly, Malachi cooked a BBQ for me ;) I did make the salad of course. Hehehe one night down! Todd got home from work and stood in the kitchen and then said, "I dont need to be in here," and walked out. He then stood in the dining room looking very lost. I assured him that he was very welcome to go back into the kitchen and start cooking, but he wouldn't, not even to make the salad! The good news is that he is still going to be cooking Friday night pizza! YAY I get Friday night off... I love Friday's already!! So if you ever feel the urge to cook me a meal and bring it over feel free.... just kidding ofcourse, but seriously...

So im sure I will blog some of my cooking disasters and some of my cooking successes.
Stay Tuned.

Love Bec xxx

Mess and Chaos- Motherhood!

Im having one of those days. One of those days where things just wont clean.
Where a child goes outside for 2 minutes and returns covered in mud, after throwing mud at his sister and her friend. One of those days where you take the child into the bathroom to clean them up and see how disgustingly messy the bathroom is, and sneak in a prayer that no-one will visit today. You overhear the above mentioned friend say, as they walk into your children's bedroom, "Don't you ever have to clean your room?" Cringe. I blame that there are 4 kids in one room and too much stuff to keep clean... but hey, at least I folded the washing thismorning!!

As I type one child is throwing stuff at another, and one just spilt milk all over the carpet. It doesnt end... the mess and the chaos just goes on and on... it's my fault. Im the one who had 4 kids right? ha.

SHUT THE FLYSCREEN!!! DONT THROW THINGS AT THE KIDS NEXT DOOR!!


Sometimes I lose it, and yell. After this, the next time I have to hang the washing on the line I hope I don't see the neighbors. Why do they build houses so close??I feel like the worst parent around. BUT Sometimes my kids are angels and I think, wow, what a good parent I am! What awesome little people I have... yay for my kids :)

Motherhood is full of ups and downs. Full of moments of despair and moments of pure joy, and these moments can occur right after each other... it seriously plays with your mind!!! My kids are watching our wedding video and I just heard Jaz say to Elias, "See that white thing? That's Mum!" When I hear them say cute things my heart leaps for joy. What a blessing children are. However, they have their dirty legs and feet all over the couch...

I think it is the best job ever. I love it.
And I feel better after writing, thankyou writing you therapeutic thing.

"Mum, Mum!!"
Im coming.

love Bec x