Tuesday, September 22, 2015

A short, strange little post

As I was cooking tea tonight I was wishing that vegetables tasted nicer. It would make them so much easier to eat. I try so hard to like them but I just don't! I just chew them round and round, then swallow them as quick as I can.  I don't enjoy a moment of it. "Eat your vegetables kids" I say. I wish they tasted better.

Elias has been crying and heartbroken for the last hour. The Octonouts watch he got today, broke.  He is so sad. I just sat at the table and cried with him. I couldn't help it. I just feel so sad for him. It would have been such a moving photo. Both of us sitting there with tears streaming down our faces. Where is a photographer when you need one??

Im at that point where I need a break. I was thinking about disappearing.
Todd might end up on that missing person show because his wife has just vanished into thin air. He will be on tv crying and telling me that if i'm watching I need to contact him, and let him know Im ok. He will tell me he needs me and loves me. It will be heartbreaking. There will shots of my poor abandoned children, looking sad cos they miss their mum. The viewers will be tweeting #heartbreaking #selfish woman #those poor poor children. Meanwhile I will have taken up a new identity in another country. My poor family, my poor parents. It's all a bit much really when I think about it this way. I think I might re-consider.

Todd has gone out to a meeting. I cried when he left.  I mean all we'd do if he was here was sit on the couch and watch a TV show. Id probably end up falling asleep and then be rudely woken by my snoring. I didn't want him to leave me here alone with them. They scare me. They are loud and fierce. They don't like to listen to me. I do love my kids. I mean just a minute ago they called me in to watch them jump from the top bunk and land on their bellies on a mattress on the floor. They called it 'The Bellyflop." I can report that there were no casualties. Ive now told them to go to bed...
This is the part of the night where I begin to lose it. Freedom is so close, so close, I can almost reach out and touch it... but not quite. My patience wears very thin, as the minutes tick away and they don't settle down. I like my evenings. My child free time. They are precious. They are VITAL.


This blog is a blog about nothing. Just my evening and my random thoughts.
It's me. I must go and pray with the kids... wish me luck as I embark on my journey into freedom ;)

Love Bec