Sunday, November 10, 2013

My Malachi Thoughts

My first baby turned 8 yesterday

When he was younger  I used to look at people with kids around 8 years old and think, I cannot imagine having a child that old, well now I do, and it really isnt that old is it!?!

Malachi was my hardest labor and my hardest baby. I had pre-eclampsia and was induced 2 weeks early.  I had already been in hospital for 2 nights cos I was so unwell.  I shared a room with a lady who snored LOUDLY, so I hadn't slept at all! The sleeping tablets did not help one bit. Even the midwife couldn't believe the sound this lady was making... poor lady :)

I was so sick that day. My blood pressure was soaring, I was feverish and throwing up. They made me have an epidural because that helps lower the blood pressure, plus I would be ready to go in for a c-section if needed cos Malachi's heart rate was way too fast. Todd laughed cos I had tubes coming out of me everywhere, I really wish i had a photo of it. Todd spent a lot of the time putting my legs back on the bed when they fell off... I couldnt feel them at all ;) It was a long day and after 16 hours I laughed and pushed out Chi. I was laughing cos I couldn't feel a thing, it was way too easy. I seriously felt like I had cheated not feeling the pain! BUT it was over and he was here, and I was so happy!!! 

I'm not going into all the details, because this isn't his birth story, but rather a recollection of a precious time,  8 years ago. He was born at 10:20 pm and I was so excited I couldnt sleep, I just laid there watching him sleep. It was very surreal that there was a baby laying there, my baby... a sleeping baby too, wow...  that didnt last!! We were in hospital for a week, Chi lost too much weight. They put a tube down his nose to feed him and then he was jaundice so they put him under lights for a couple of days... this is all quite common, but when you are a new sleep deprived mum it is all very overwhelming and I cried HEAPS! I wanted to go home and I wanted him to feed properly... and ... and ... and.... things will never be the same!!!  He was very small for ages, he ended up being bottle fed cos he just wast getting enough milk, he wasn't growing... I was scared to tell people... mothers guilt!! Mums, remember, you have to do what works for you... what works for you isn't what works for others... after 4 babies I have learnt this!

He wouldn't sleep. He had colic. I remember just walking the room, patting him, night after night. Praying he would sleep. He would sleep on Todd's chest, a little relief in those first horrible few weeks.

8 years later and My boy is amazing. He isnt perfect but who is? He is a quality time boy. He loves to sit with me and drink a cup of tea, it makes him feel special and important. He also loves to make me cups of tea, perfect :)  I can see him changing before my eyes, he was a very silly little boy "Underpants hehehe",  "Bottom, hehehe", but he has definitely matured a lot more in the last few months!! We now have different behaviors to deal with, a whole new parenting learning experience...  hmmmmmm...

I watch Chi and I see myself in him so often... He is the oldest of 4 like I was. He bosses the others around like I did. He gets them all organised to do shows, like I did. He gets the audience together and says, Welcome ladies and gentleman, boys and  girls, like I did. He loves to perform, like I did. He is a mini Todd in looks but a mini Bec in so many ways!!!

My heart breaks for him regularly. He loves to learn, wants to learn yet he has this Auditory Processing Disorder, and a Cognitive Working Memory Disorder that really makes learning HARD!!! He has shed many many tears, and it is a daily struggle at school.  We have taken him to a literacy specialist for the last 2 years and have seen some progress but it is SLOW! He will get there, I know, but it is hard seeing him lay in bed crying at night cos he cant read like everyone else. Todd and I are both trained teachers and we never expected that any of our kids would struggle like this, it is heart breaking to watch. We just need to love him and encourage him through it.

He loves the drums! He just plays them. I have no idea how. He just started playing when he was 2. He shocked us all. He played along to a song in assembly at school when he was in prep.
He also sits at the piano and plays a melody. I love this. Music is so important to us as a family, and im so excited that he is a natural!!!! I think all the music classes I taught at Channel Christian School while he was in my tummy must have really helped him ;) I also remember him kicking along to the beat during one of my piano students lesson :)

He loves church and Jesus. This makes me the happiest of all. This is the most important thing to me. This is how I know we are doing something right. My prayer is that he continues to grow in his relationship with Jesus, and he will become a MIGHTY MAN OF GOD!

Here are just a few thoughts about Chi, the day after his 8th birthday!
I love you Malachi Todd Barker.

Thanks for reading
Bec xx

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