It's really quiet. Elias is in bed.
All i can hear is me chewing my ham sandwich.
I needed this sandwich cos my head was spinning, i'm not used to crying. I was even crying in bed last night, im glad my eyes weren't too swollen when i woke up.
I woke up to Jazzy crying and telling me that he had changed his mind and wasnt going to go to school. He threw his school bag in the bin cos he wasnt going. Todd was apologising to me cos he had to go and there was nothing he could do to help. In my head, i'm secretly thinking, well you could help by saying, dont take him, let hm stay home, home-shool him. But of course, I didnt voice this! After an hour and a half of this, he settled and we went outside and took some photos of the three in their uniforms. Oh it was the cutest sight! Mattea's first dress uniform, she looks so grown up and gorgeous. She was very excited about starting prep. Although last night she did say to me, with a tear in her eye, "Mum, im not sure how im going to do it, how do I keep going EVERY day with no half days anymore." Malachi looked handsome as ever in his uniform, proudly holding his GRADE 2 sign, BLESS! So anyway, we conquered the morning before school photo without it looking like Jaz was upset :)
Once at school we first went to the Kinder room and then Jazzy wanted to come with me to drop the others off at their classes. So off we went and I totally forgot Elias, and left him playing in the Kinder room. It didn't even cross my mind that he wasn't with me. 10 minutes later when I returned to the Kinder room I was surprised to see him and was like, oh my gosh, Elias!! My mind was so distracted by Jazzy that I had totally forgotten about my baby! I mean, if i hadn't had come back and seen him in the classroom I wonder how long it would have been till I noticed he was actually not with me...I prob would have gone to the car without him! Oh dear, mother of the year award!
Jazzy didnt want me to go, I stayed for a bit and when I found myself starting to get teary I thought I better leave so that he wouldn't see me upset. He didn't like this idea and screamed and clung to me... I told his teacher to just take him cos the tears were streaming now. So she pulled him away from me and i walked out of the room without looking back. Heart Breaking. It would have been worse if he'd seen me like that! I was so embarrassed, I don't usually cry in front of people and here I am, tears streaming, in the middle of a busy corridor. The Principal sees me, and he gives me a big hug, I was trying as hard as I could not to sob! Oh gosh!
I went up outside the Prep/1 room cos i knew that's were my friends were, and the tears kept coming!
We went up to the Staff Room to 'tea and tissues'. All the sad mums could be together and have a cuppa and cry before heading home :) It was nice to sit and talk with Rach, Susan, Jess and others. Some ladies saw me and I must have looked bad or something cos they came and hugged me ;) Jazzy's teacher had made a little package for each of the Kinder kids to give their parents before they left. It contained a packet of tissues, chocolate, a calm tea bag and a bookmark. It was such a lovely idea and the tissues came in very handy.
Before I left I had a peak in through the Kinder room and i could see Jazzy happily sitting on the mat and doing actions to something... oh the relief, he was ok! HE IS OK!!!
On the way home I dropped in to see Ana and we had a cuppa. Then I dropped in too see Rach and we had a cuppa. So it has actually been a sad but happy morning.
Now im sitting here, in the quietness. Ive finished my ham sandwich and im considering what to do next. Im thinking I should really do some cleaning but i also want to do nothing, and just sit and enjoy the silence. Silence is rare. Well it has been rare, things are changing. I will enjoy it now because in a few hours they will all be home, telling me about their adventures at school.