Today marks 6 years since Todd whacked his head and has been suffering with Post Concussive Syndrome. What a life changing event. I just read through my journal from that time, and thought I would share some of what it was like...
On Wednesday 6th August 2008 I wrote in my journal:
"On Friday night Todd fainted. Chi was in the bathroom with him and BANG (that's what I heard) he passed out, whacked his head on the medicine cabinet and landed on my CD player (which now doesn't work) and a poor innocent toilet roll which is squashed. Chi came running out to me saying, "Daddy fall over", so I went in and he was lying there on the floor and he wouldn't respond to me! At first I thought he may be playing a trick on me, but he wasn't!! He came around, very confused and groggy, he brushed it off and went to bed. The next day he started to stutter and not be able to get words out. His head was still dizzy and groggy. By Sunday we finally got him to the Emergency Room. They did a brain scan and it came back clear, what a relief! It's hopefully just a bad concussion. To Todd's disgrace the Doctor has made him have a week off work! His speech has improved alot today which is good."
Tuesday 21st August I wrote:
"We went back to Emergency cos Todd wasnt getting any better. He now has another week off work, can't drive and has to go to the Brain Injury Clinic next week. Apparently Todd's brain will heal on it's own, it better! On Sunday night he couldnt work out how to get the car into reverse- weird as this brain stuff."
Saturday 30th August 2008 I wrote:
Todd is still sick. We went to the Brain Injury Clinic and he has to have more tests to see if there is something really wrong with his brain. He has to have at least another month off work and isn't allowed to drive. He has to see a neuro-psychologist, clinical psychologist, an occupational therapist and a speech therapist- hmmmm- im trying not to worry- but it's hard. He is so not well at the moment and he cant do much without feeling sick.
Monday 8th September 2008:
I'm so anxious. I just want to cry my eyes out, but I can't. Man i'm mad! I just want Todd to be normal again- i'm finding it so floppin hard. He has no sick days left and in fact has been overpaid 4 days. Oh my Goodness, we are stuffed!!! I really need God cos I cant shake the heaviness of the situation. Todd is ALWAYS sick and it's just terrible- not Todd- the sickness, HELP ME."
Thursday 30th October 2008:
"Well didn't we get a surprise when we went to the clinic thismorning and the Doc said that Todd has stuff in his brain that's not normal, that had shown up on his MRI. Not quite what we were expecting. It could be MS. But we say 'No it's not in Jesus name'. Hmmmm... trying to stay positive.
Hello present Bec back :)
Wow, all of that was 6 years ago... i'd like to add that during this time we had 3 kids under 3... Jazzy was 3 weeks old when Todd hit his head... craziness. Todd doesn't have MS, but we had to wait 6 months to get in to see the Brain specialist, so that was a worrying 6 months for sure!
Todd initially had 3 months off work and even now hasn't been able to work full time. He still has headaches daily and can't over do it, or he is back on the couch with all the side effects returning- stuttering, dizziness, memory and concentration problems, low tolerance, grumpiness and depression. I used to dread Winter cos I knew he would get so down. This winter has been so good, no depression!! YAY! But I must say, the memory still has a long way to go, don't expect him to remember everything you tell him :) Stress and tiredness also bring these symptoms on. So when I say Todd is sick, or Todd's head is playing up again, you now know what i'm referring too. I'm constantly assessing everything he does and asking if he really thinks that's wise... sometimes something like mowing the lawn can put him on the couch for a day. I still have to drive regularly as his head just doesn't have the cognitive ability to do so. It's definitely altered our lifestyle and plans in life, but he is alive, and we have a lovely family, we are so blessed!! I used to always say to him, "No you CANNOT get a tattoo." But after all of this I was like, "Get a tattoo, it really doesn't matter, i'm just so glad you are alive"(so he got 3) Little things like that don't really matter in the big picture.
Todd was always relaxed, easy going and a real joker. I didn't see this Todd for about 5 years... he was a different person. But now he has started joking and teasing again. When I first saw it returning, I was like, "What on earth, he is crazy", and then I remembered, this was the Todd I married! I'd forgotten. Now when Todd smiles it makes me so happy, I appreciate every smile. There is nothing I love more than seeing him playing and laughing with the kids.
The kids pray every night that God will make Daddy's head better. We see improvements and it is so encouraging, we are believing for total restoration! Please pray and believe with us!!! I am excited for the future! God has this!!!
Thanks for reading my memoirs lovely people
I still don't like that medicine cabinet ;)
Love Bec xx